The Old Man and The Flea
He’s more experienced in voting against raising the minimum wage. More experienced in denying decent benefits for our heroic military veterans whom he has more experience in sending over there to uselessly die and be needlessly maimed in the first place. More experienced in voting against the G.I. Bill (the one he lyingly claims he really supported). More experienced in voting against any kind of bill that would benefit the reeling middle classes. More experienced in voting for any kind of bill that sends more money to his dark masters—big oil, big business and big government.
He's also more experienced in supporting the Iraq war. Gotta take out those weapons of mass... oops, sorry, never mind. He's more experienced in handing multinational corporations big fat tax breaks while the middle class struggles desperately to keep a roof over its head and food on the table and a job in its future. He’s more experienced in hiring greedy corporate lobbyists to run his campaign. He's more experienced in having advisors who call us a "nation of whiners" and more experienced in savagely dissing anyone who doesn’t agree with the reactionary Repug policies.
He’s more experienced in demeaning women. He dumped his first wife, Carol, after a horrific car crash in which she was badly disfigured, crippled and put on weight as a result; he called his rodeo-beauty-queen second wife, Cindy, a cunt in public, and only the other day he suggested that she should compete in a topless beauty contest.
He’s more experienced in being a pig. Ross Perot, who paid Carol McCain’s huge medical bills all those years ago, now believes that both she and the American people have been taken in by a man who is unusually slick and cruel – even by the standards of modern politics. “McCain is the classic opportunist. He’s always reaching for attention and glory,” Perot says. “After he came home [from North Vietnam] Carol walked with a limp. So he threw her over for a poster girl with big money from Arizona. And the rest is history.”
He’s more experienced in blocking programs that would benefit women and children. He’s more experienced in getting the government to interfere in women’s reproductive freedoms: he’s more of a proponent of abstinence than even Sarah Palin is.
He’s more experienced in being a lying, dissembling, breathtakingly dishonest piece of cowshite. He’s more experienced in using his POW days in North Vietnam as a free pass to just about everything. “Noun, verb, POW” doesn’t cut it, not when there are REAL war heroes out there to put the lie to his opportunism. And not when he steals an Alexander Solzhenitsyn fictional anecdote (the cross his captor allegedly drew in the dirt) to further his own ends and grab some more undeserved glory.
But mostly McLame, McBane, McVain, McSame, McBlame, McInane, McShame, McFeign, McPain, McNoBrain, McInsane is more experienced than anyone on the planet in planting big wet kisses on George W. Bush’s little ratty white frat-boy ass.
He has supported Shrub’s policies over 95% of the time, and is now trying to run a campaign on how he’s the candidate of CHANGE, and DISTANCING himself from Shrub and the policies he himself helped put in place.
WHATTHEFUCK??? Change??? Is he kidding? Does he even HEAR himself? Or is he finally too senile to remember what he did last week, last year, last campaign, the last 30 years? He’s about as much the candidate of change as Metternich was. He’s miles to the right of Emperor Palpatine (who looks pretty good , and a lot healthier, by comparison).
He’s trying to distance himself from the incontrovertible fact that HIS PARTY, the one that’s been in control for the past EIGHT YEARS, is somehow not responsible for the fact that we have no jobs, no homes, no medical insurance, no bank security, no decent schools, no respect abroad, no strong currency, no anything really except a bloated, gloating Republican establishment who got theirs at our expense and now wants to keep getting it because somehow it DESERVES to be kept in office. Why would anyone with half a functioning brain cell vote for another eight MINUTES of this?
And if you do vote for him, then you’re a fucking idiot who doesn’t deserve to be trusted with the right to do so. Because you obviously either don’t see or don’t care for the truth.
What planet of lunatics is this guy from? Does he really think we DON’T REMEMBER? Does he truly believe the past eight years wasn’t the worst time for Americans in our entire history (Americans who aren’t of the ruling class, that is)? Can he possibly be that stupid? Or is he just that breathtakingly cynical? To think we haven’t noticed, or don’t care, and will just vote for the big scarlet R once we get into the booth because he and his droids have commanded us to?
He’s The Old Man. Too old, too same, too wrong, too many dead brain cells, too much baggage.
And then we come to The Flea. The annoying, biting, bloodsucking, bug-eyed little Alaskan insect.
She has NO experience, in ever so many things. No experience in national office. No experience in foreign policy (despite the brainless Bimbo McCain’s assertion that oh yes she does too, ‘cause Alaska is right up there next to Russia). No experience in running any civic entity bigger than 7,000 people until she slunk into the governorship of Alaska. No experience in telling the truth: she lied about the Bridge to Nowhere (she was for it until she thought the feds might make her state actually pay for it, and she hung on to 27 million bucks anyway) and a bunch of other stuff too.
The experience she DOES have? Experience in lying about her own pregnancy and lying about her ham-handed attempt to get her brother-in-law fired from the state police, because she could, or thought she could.
Experience in trying to censor library books bought with public funds for public libraries and firing the librarian. Gosh, refresh my memory, somebody: didn’t HITLER start off by censoring books? Yes, I do believe he did.
Experience in using oil windfall money to NOT fix the WORST STATE SCHOOL SYSTEM IN THE COUNTRY, but instead to send each and every Alaskan a check for $1200. Hey, even bribes are downsized these days…though it’s still more than 30 pieces of silver.
Experience in sticking her hand out to panhandle pork barrel “earmarks”, to the tune of millions, while now virtuously claiming she’s always been against earmarks.
Experience in using state funds for her private purposes, like redecorating her office several times. Experience in leaving a debt-free town (when she took over Wasilla) under a crippling mountain of millions of dollars in debt—yeah, GREAT budgetary skills!
Experience in using her vulnerable, pregnant teenage daughter as a political pawn and forcing marriage on 2 teenagers, a tactic straight out of the 1950’s. Experience in trying to force such non-choices on all other women as well, including victims who become pregnant by rape and incest. Because, as we can all see by her conduct, the children come first…
Experience using her Down’s syndrome infant, incredibly fragile and needy of a mother’s attention, as yet another exploited pawn in her game, foisting him off on the care of his elder siblings while she prances about in public—family values, but only when it suits her and they can serve her purpose.
Experience in backwards thinking: clinging to the loony doctrine of “creationism”, dissing global warming (this as a quarter of her state melts into seawater right under her feet), delisting polar bears from protected status, shooting wolves from helicopters, lusting to drill for oil in protected reserves (even though any such oil wouldn’t BEGIN to help the crisis for another ten years).
Experience opposing any kind of development of alternative energy, even though Alaska would be a great candidate for geothermal and water power, a model for other states to follow. No, just keep sucking at that oil tit, Sarah…
Experience in Bible literalism: Among other things, she encouraged a group of young Alaskan church leaders to pray that “God’s will” be done in bringing about the construction of a big pipeline in the state, and suggested her work as governor would be hampered “if the people of Alaska’s heart isn’t right with God.” She also told the group that her eldest child, Track, would soon be deployed by the Army to Iraq, and that they should pray “that our national leaders are sending them out on a task that is from God, that’s what we have to make sure we are praying for, that there is a plan, and that plan is God’s plan.”
So that dovetails into NO experience with the American concept of separation of church and state. ANY church. Guess she knows better than Thomas Jefferson and the other Founders what this country really needs! And just what God is she hearing from/praying to, anyway? Moloch? Tash? Doesn’t sound much like Jesus to me…unless he was really supportive of oil pipelines. Quick, somebody go look it up in the New Testament! I’m sure it’s in there somewhere…
She has TONS of college experience, though: five of them in six years, wow, what an intellectual giant, finally managing to eke out a degree as an alleged journalism major without having once worked on a college paper or TV station. But somehow she managed to buy herself a T-shirt reading “I may be broke, but I’m not flat busted.” Oh, the oodles of class! I bet she still has it, too. That’ll look so good in the Rose Garden… And not ONE of her alma maters was contacted by the McCain vetting committee.
She’s a tundra hillbilly with all the compassion of a Borgia and all the sincerity of a snake. No, I take that back: snakes are very sincere. All the sincerity of a tenth-league beauty queen, then. A living, breathing, not-thinking caricature, pure bogus from the big fake smile outward and pure trash from the big fake smile inward. And the deadest eyes I’ve seen since Shrub.
Oh, and let’s not forget the redneck, big-oil-compromised husband who calls himself Alaska’s “First Dude.” Gosh, how sophisticated is that! THAT’ll impress the Queen of England no end, you betcha, when Her Britannic Majesty comes over on a state visit to the Palin White House after McCain drops dead in his first term. First Dude probably eats his peas with his knife and his moose steak with his fingers and drinks his tea out of a saucer…though perhaps that appeals to a significant cadre of voters.
His wife even put him on board for secret state government meetings and security-clearance official emails, though he has no position in the government of Alaska.
And THIS, my fellow Americans, is the ticket the Republicans would have you put in office: the Old Man, the Flea, the Bimbo and the Dude.
And I fear to the depths of my being that they’re going to win.
But I have only this to ask: Are you really as abysmally stupid as they think you are? As stupid as they’re counting on you being? I truly hope you aren’t, but I despair that you really are.
Still, go ahead. Prove me wrong. I’d be absolutely delighted.