The Jig Is Up

When I was a kid and forced to go to church every Sunday, I especially detested Easter. Because there was always some self-serving Easter message sermon to the flock about how the One True Catholic and Apostolic Church was just the bestest and the biggest and the One and Onliest, and everybody who didn’t buy into that was doomed to hellfire eternal.

This did not make sense to me, and the fact that there were seven sacraments for men and only six for women made me very, very angry. And if a seven-year-old can see the sheer wrongness of the institution, that doesn’t say very much for the institution, does it. Admittedly, I was a smart kid, but it didn’t take much to realize that any Church of Women Are the Cause of All Evil and Humans Are Born Damned to Hell by Original Sin and Anybody However Good and Moral Who Is Not A Catholic Is Likewise Damned to Hell is no church I wanted any part of. And no god I wanted any part of.

So here’s my Easter message to the flock:

If the Catholic Church, as it loudly self-proclaims itself to be, is really the church of Jesus (however you conceive him to be), then I put forth the proposition that Jesus (however you conceive him to be) would want nothing whatsoever to do with this rotten, corrupt, evil, seething mass of hypocrisy, and would, were he to return (in whatever form you conceive him to be), promptly and without hesitation kick the living, well, bejesus out of the predatory, self-important, self-aggrandizing hierarchy that supports, condones and covers up the mass-scale rape of innocent children by its own minions.

The Church of today is no more than a shill for its own passion for power and money and control. The Passion of its founder means nothing to them; in fact, if he ever really did come back, they’d crucify him before he could even open his mouth. And they’d be right in their own interest to do so, because he would condemn them to the hell they don’t seem to believe applies to them.

I don't have any children, and if I did I would never in a million years have raised them Catholic. But I would have sliced the dick off any so-called priest who molested them, and stuffed it down his throat. And when I now read the vile, self-justifying apologia issuing forth like sewage from people who seem to think that the Church is above the law of any land, and apparently above the law it claims for itself (“Suffer the little children…”), it makes me want to wave my hand and destroy it.

According to their latest, ever more desperate defense, we shouldn’t blame the Church for these thousands of cases of raped children, because child abuse goes on all over the place and has for centuries and this is no worse than that. Do you people even HEAR yourselves? Any clean, healthy mind of ANY faith has to be revolted at the twisted, evil logic that came up with that one. And the further twist that anyone who tasks the Church for it is somehow anti-Catholic...well, that’s simply beyond anything.

So I don’t want to hear any whining from Catholics about Oh we’re not all like that and most priests aren’t like that and we do a lot of good for the world. Because yes, that is quite true: you’re not, and they’re not, and you do. Absolutely.

But if you want to be the good guys you vaunt yourselves as being, then you have to do a lot better than that. You have to rise up and vomit these miscreants forth. You have to stand up for what YOU believe in, not the sycophantic ravings of the lackeys of Rome. You have to let it be known that you won’t support any hierarchy that condones and covers up child rape. You have to grow a spine and some balls and you have to speak out against it and let it be known amongst the lands and the peoples thereof that you will not endure this one more moment.

Oh, but then anyone who tries to hold the Church accountable is accused of Catholic-bashing. Oh, please! Don’t even TRY to play the victim card, Ratzinger. You lost the moral high ground when you chose to defend the violators and not the violated. When you decided that saving the Church’s sorry ass was more important than justice for the Church’s innocent victims. How is it bashing to hold the Church to merely the law of the land, let alone its own self-proclaimed moral superiority? Better than everybody else? Oh yeah? Well, let’s see it, then.

But the Church has never had a moral leg to stand on. It killed its own (Cathars, Templars, Inquisition in general). It killed those not its own (Muslims, Protestants, Pagans and everybody else). It preached for centuries that Jews were deicides who murdered God (not even their own god, mind you...). It had a sweet little secret handshake deal going with Nazi Germany: you look the other way, Adolf, and so will we. (Et tu, Benedictus? More like “Sieg heil!”) It twiddled its bejeweled thumbs while Jews, Roma and other defenseless people were taken away to death camps. It arranged for Nazis to escape trial for their war crimes, and now it enables child rapists escape the rightful consequences of their actions.

Is there no end to the utter hypocrisy and sanctimonious filth of this evil, barbarous sect, this long-outdated medieval relic? Will no one rid us of these troublesome priests?

Supposedly the Vatican had no knowledge of the child abuse. Well, any priestling who says so is a lying liar who lies. They knew, right enough, and they tried to make it go away by ignoring it. Some moral compass you’ve got going there, Rome! You posture and preen as the world’s guiding light and moral authority, but your authority is founded on nothing but pure muck. And people are finally realizing that they’re sick of it.

The Church is at present “investigating” American nuns: to see if they’re abject and submissive enough, to make sure no uppity women are sassing back at priests and the Pope, and to reinforce all the misogyny that has been rampant in the institution ever since Jesus took a powder. I suggest they turn some of that inquisitional scrutiny on themselves. Can you IMAGINE how fast a nun who tried to officiate at a Mass would be kicked to the curb? Light-speed, baby! So why haven’t any of these spoiled pederast rapist priests been tossed out like the garbage they are?

I have no idea how this will play out. Probably the way it always does: the Church will continue to cover its nasty ass with both hands, squealing like a stuck pig; money will be paid to some of the victims, which will do nothing to alleviate their pain; and the vile business will go on as usual.

But you know, maybe not this time. Maybe this time the wrath of the Goddess will come down upon the petty, vile, evil little men who have denied Her and Her power for two millennia, and blot them and their offenses from the face of the earth. I’d very much like to see that. And I’d do anything I can to make it happen.