One Ring For Lying Fools, One Ring to Blind Them
Santorum defends Iraq war
By ALISON HAWKES
Bucks County Courier Times
Embattled U.S. Sen. Rick Santorum said America has avoided a second terrorist attack for five years because the “Eye of Mordor” has been drawn to Iraq instead.
Santorum used the analogy from one of his favorite books, J.R.R. Tolkien's 1950s fantasy classic “Lord of the Rings,” to put an increasingly unpopular war in Iraq into terms any school kid could easily understand.
“As the hobbits are going up Mount Doom, the Eye of Mordor is being drawn somewhere else,” Santorum said, describing the tool the evil Lord Sauron used in search of the magical ring that would consolidate his power over Middle-earth.
“It's being drawn to Iraq and it's not being drawn to the U.S.,” Santorum continued. “You know what? I want to keep it on Iraq. I don't want the Eye to come back here to the United States.”
In an interview with the Bucks County Courier Times editorial board late last week, the 12-year Republican senator from Pennsylvania said he's “a big "Lord of the Rings' fan.” He's read the first of the series, “The Hobbit” to his six children.
A spokesman for Democratic opponent Bob Casey Jr. questioned the appropriateness of the analogy.
“You have to really question the judgment of a U.S. senator who compares the war in Iraq to a fantasy book,” said Casey spokesman Larry Smar. “This is just like when he said Kim Jong II isn't a threat because he just wants to "watch NBA basketball.' ”
According to a Harrisburg Patriot-News editorial, Santorum said the North Korea dictator “doesn't want to die; he wants to watch NBA basketball” as a reason why Iran is the bigger nuclear threat.
Oh, so many possible responses to this, they teem like orcs upon the Plain of Gorgoroth!
But actually it's Santorum who's the orc here. I think I'll call him Gorbag from now on... What a freakin' idiot.
First, how DARE he co-opt my favorite book in the world to his own slimy orc ways. For that alone he must be punished.
Second, as my friend Jared points out, we all know where the Ring really ended up: on the hand of a scrawny, lying, failed, treacherous creature who looks more like Gollum every day. Can we throw him in a volcano, huh, can we can we can we?? Pleeeeeeease? Precioussss indeed.
In a related matter, once more from the journalism god that is Keith Olberman: