Haven't got the energy to rant at the moment (it's true! Probably a sign of Apocalypse), but I will get up to speed presently. In the meantime, Happy Beltane to all, Happy Birthday to my mom (May 4) and MDF Michael Rosenthal (May 5), and good luck to me getting my iTunes back and re-finding all my bookmarks.
Did I say I hate Microsoft with the passion of a thousand burning suns? Because I do. I hate Vista, and I hate Word 2007.
WHYWHYWHY do they mess around with nice simple stuff that worked just FINE before? Because they are Satan's strumpets, that's why, and lo their hand is against all folk and their vile and orc-like deeds are everywhere.
Vista is huge, unnecessary, despicable, hard to use and a compensatory monument to insufficient testicularity in Redmond, WA. There is no other point to it.
New Word looks ghastly and I can't customize my toolbars the way I could before. As a writer I like being able to easily click buttons and have my way with my words on the page.
And I haven't even begun to think about lugging all my files from the old laptop and Windows 98 and Word-whatever-it-was over to this new location.
And I haaaate the new laptop (Toshiba Satellite) because they saw fit to remove the "eraser mouse", which I loved, and substituted a freakin' touchpad. Now I have to turn my hand sideways to mouse and scratch repeatedly across it to make the pointer move and there's no support for my wrist. Toshiba, fry in hell right along with Microsoft.
I hereby put it out there on the ether that I should be hired as a beta tester by every computer outfit on the planet.
I am no geek, sirs and ladies. I am no idiot, either. I am a very smart person who knows nothing about computing except the paltry bit I know (email/eBay/Word), and as such I can whip up mistakes and errors and wrong clickings of such Krakatoan spectacularity and creativity as would tie Bill Gates and Steve Jobs into tiny knots of whimpering pain and make them cry for their mommies.
Yeah. I could get into that.
And I would come cheap, really, by comparison to all their overpaid under-common-sensed pointy-headed dorks (or orcs).
So if any Redmond/Silicon Valley recruiter is reading this, call my agent.
Hey, lookit! I managed a bit of a rant after all. Go me!